In honor of Black Friday, here are the top 5 captions describing what I assume Santa is up to during all the holiday maddness.

Santa flasher

Low key tired Santa Claus

Santa posing akimbo and pointing

Pitiful Santa (a picture of Santa being held at gunpoint)

Daddy Santa Claus smoking a cigar

Mime Monday! Here are my top five stock photo captions:

  • Mime stirring paint
  • Sad mime with balloons
  • Crazy gardener mime (inexplicably there were a couple dozen photos with this caption)
  • Portrait of a maliciuos mime on a black background
  • Mime with legs spread

So I have an account on this stock photography site called Thinkstock. ┬áNeedless to say, I have stumbled across more than few interesting (absurd) photos while browsing using various search terms, for instance, ‘man with knee injury’ or ‘halloween costumes’. I’ve been tempted to download some of my favorites, but unfortunately my account only legally allows me to use photos for work related purposes. So I give you the next best thing: the wonderful world of stock photography image captions. You’ll have to use your imagination with these, but that is probably for the best.

I present to you Top 5 Stock Photography Captions using the search term: Business Man

5 – Business man sleeping on pile of shredded paper

4 – Business man bowling in hallway

3 – Business man wizard

2 – Economic crisis forced shocked business man to commit suicide with rope

1 – Business man pouring fuel into open briefcase